


Brooding

by Es_Aitch



Series: Twelfth Doctor One Shots  Series 9 [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Post "Witch's Familiar", Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened after the end of “Witch’s Familiar”?  Can't say more to keep the description spoiler free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brooding

The Doctor entered the TARDIS. Now that the young Davros had been taken care of, it was time to leave this all behind them. He pulled the handbrake and threw the lever that would send the TARDIS into the Vortex. He did this silently, with a sullen expression.

Clara watched him. “You’re brooding.”

He lifted his eyes to meet hers and frowned. “I don’t brood.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you do. What’s this about? Missy… or me?”

The Doctor pulled a face. “Why does it have to be about either of you?”

“Because, Doctor, the only time you get like this is when it concerns someone you care about. You knew the TARDIS was okay, which leaves Missy or me.”

“And Davros.”

Clara’s eyebrows shot up at that. “I’m sorry? ‘And Davros’? What is that supposed to mean?”

The Doctor really was not in a mood to explain himself. He just stared at her for a moment. He did not know how to tell her it was not much different from Missy.  Finally he sighed, he wanted to make sure Clara was all right so he gestured to one of the console room exits. “Medbay.”

“I’m fine, Doctor. Not so sure about you.”

He rounded on her. His voice turned stern. “You’re not sure about me. That’s the point, isn’t it? I took a weapon, Clara! I was ready to… To…”

He huffed in anger, turned away from her, and stalked off towards the medbay. He expected she would follow. Of course she followed. Her brain had been connected to a Dalek, she wanted to know if she was okay or not.

The Doctor gestured to one of the beds. “Sit.”

For once, she did as she was told without argument. Though her expression showed she was less than pleased. The Doctor was on edge enough without her pushing him. He picked up a scanning unit and ran it over her. He looked at the monitor where the information would be displayed. “Doesn’t look like any permanent damage was done.”

He picked up another device and used it to scan her again head to toe. “Some evidence of – did you fall somewhere? Because there are injuries that have been healed by….”

“By what, Doctor?

“Never mind. Beyond that, how are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

Her response was a little clipped. To which he raised an eyebrow. “You were inside a Dalek. That’s…”

Clara’s eyes narrowed. “That’s what?”

The Doctor moved to stand next to the bed Clara was sitting on. He turned so he could rest his bum against the edge of the bed to support him. He sighed deeply, which gave him another moment to gather his thoughts. He spoke softly. “The first time I met you… Well, met Oswin Oswald. She had crashed on a planet where the Daleks had an Asylum. They turned her into a Dalek. But she was a genius. She saved me.”

He coughed to clear his voice of emotion. “So, when I heard the Dalek say, ‘Mercy’. I thought… ”

Clara dared to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Doctor, it wasn’t your fault. You had no way to know it was me. And Missy was… well, being Missy.”

The Doctor shrugged out of her touch and moved away from the bed. “I took the gun, Clara. Since when am I a man who takes up weapons willingly?”

“You thought I was dead, right? It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “No. This is all very far from okay. How can you think it’s okay? I nearly…”

“But you _didn’t_!” Clara took a breath before continuing. “Missy told you that I was the Dalek who killed …. Me. But she told me something too. When we heard you talking to the Daleks, telling them to tell you I was dead, Missy said that you had lost hope. And you would burn everything.”

The Doctor ran his hands through his hair – making it messier than it had been before. Now Clara was getting worried. A silent Doctor was never a good thing. She slid off the bed. “Right. Your turn.”

The Doctor waved her off.

“Do as you’re told, Doctor. Get on the bed.”

He huffed and sat on the bed. Clara picked up one of the instruments. And used it the way the Doctor had. She looked over at the monitor. “These readings are off the charts. Doctor what happened? What did you do?”

He shrugged. “The only thing I could think of… I allowed them to take some of my regeneration energy.”

Clara dropped the scanner she was holding.

“Oi! Be careful with that!”

Clara crossed her arms. “You did _what_?”

“You heard me. You probably felt it. That’s why your injuries were healed.”

Clara picked up the device and set it on the nearby table. She then came back and stood right in front of the Doctor, giving him no option for escape. Her arms were crossed. Her entire body suggested she was in no mood for his games. “Explain this. And do it properly.”

“Davros was connected to every Dalek on Skaro. He was using their energy to sustain what little of his life he had left. I knew about the Daleks in the sewers. I figured if I could send the regeneration energy back into the decaying Daleks that they would revolt. Which is what happened.”

“But, Doctor, doesn’t that mean… Does that mean this will be your last body?”

“No clue. Probably not. I mean, it was painful and exhausting, but in the end, not actually that much energy was used.”

Clara reached out slowly and captured the Doctor’s face between her hands. He tried to back away a little, but her expression pinned him in place.

“You are so quick to condemn yourself for a moment’s hesitation. But Doctor, you always try to be a good man.”

At those words, the Doctor stopped trying to get out of her touch. He was too shocked to say anything. He had nearly killed Clara – it did not matter in his mind that he would not have known it was she. He had showed Davros compassion and by the time he saw that Dalek, he was unwilling to. To him, that was a great failure.

Clara could see the Doctor was thinking too hard. She nodded once and tried to bring his attention back to her. “And because I was connected to the Daleks, I got your energy too. So, I’ve been healed. Like I said. I’m fine. Now. What do you need?”

He swallowed thickly. It was rare that he acknowledged his needs. But right now he was just raw. And so his needs were very different from normal. “Comfort foods, a big fluffy bed, and not thinking about anything for awhile.”

Clara smiled softly. “So, a day off and a day in. How about watching some films?”

“What about adventures and travelling?”

“Oh, I still want that. But I just spent a couple of hours as a Dalek. So, I’m okay with getting that out of my system before the next adventure.”

With that, she bent his forehead towards her, quickly kissed him on the forehead, let him go, and headed for the medbay doors. “As for you: shower, sweatpants, a comfortable shirt, wooly socks, and meet me in the cinema in forty-five minutes.

He gave a nod of his head. He could do that much. He owed her that much after today. But a part of him could not understand why she was willing to do this for him.

Forty-Five minutes later, they met in the cinema. Clara had also changed into what she would call comfortable clothes. But more than that, she had a large bowl of popcorn and two large mugs of hot coco. She gestured to the seat next to her and picked up the remote. “Well, come on. The hot coco won’t stay hot forever.”

He came over and picked up the mug. He looked at it. “Well, actually these mugs…”

“Shut-it! Sit down and get comfortable. I found the perfect film.”

The Doctor groaned softly. Every time he heard that, meant it was anything but ‘perfect’ for him. “Is this a kissing-film? Whenever any of you lot say that, it’s _always_ a kissing-film. I don’t do kissing films.”

Clara laughed almost hysterically. The Doctor could not understand what was so funny. “Clara? What’s this film about?”

She waved him into silence while she tried to control her giggles. She then quoted the film in question: “Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. …And books.”

He hummed. “Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.”

Clara giggled again as she pressed the ‘play’ button. When the title screen came up introducing the film as _The Princess Bride_ , the Doctor rolled his eyes. “This _is_ a kissing film! Clara!”

“Shush! Watch. Don’t talk.”

Once the grandfather presented the boy a book, the Doctor observed, “Books are good.”

“Doctor, shut-it!”

The Doctor went quiet and it was only another ten minutes until he was actually enjoying the film. He even laughed at some points. By the time the end of the film scrolled, much like the boy, the Doctor found he did not mind the kissing parts that much. But, he still preferred less romantic type films.

“Okay. My turn!”

He sprung up and went over to the wall with his collection. Clara’s pick had reminded him of a film he has not watched since Ace travelled with him. They had both enjoyed it. Now, he wondered if he would like it as much in this body. He pressed the holographic image of the film case and came back to sit down.

Clara offered him the remote.

The Doctor gave his own description of the film. “Fantasy. Adventure. Books where you become part of the story. And a Luck Dragon.”

Clara raised her eyebrow at that. “’Luck Dragon’. Does that end up being you?”

The Doctor never thought about it like that, but he supposed in some ways, it could be true. Though, he had always seen himself more as the owner of the bookstore. Ace had said the TARDIS was like the book…. So, it was only right. Of course, he had been a different man back then.

“Just watch the film.” With that he pressed ‘play.’  _The NeverEnding Story_ began.

Once the movie ended the Doctor pressed the button to turn off the screen and bring the lights back up. Clara was just staring at him. He stared back at her for a few minutes. “What?”

She offered a little smile. “The TARDIS is like Falkor; you’re like Atreyu; and we’re like Bastian.”

“Oh? So you’re all not the Child-like Empress?”

She shook her head. “Falkor is this amazing creature who can take people anywhere and sometimes serves as a conscience. He’s a dragon, but as friendly as a pup.”

The Doctor smirked. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about the TARDIS.”

“We’re all Bastian, following along Atreyu’s story, but never quite knowing the beginning or the ending of it. But, we somehow get wrapped up in the story and it becomes as real for us as it is for him.”

Now, the Doctor was intrigued. This perspective was so different compared to Ace’s. But he liked it. “And Atreyu?”

Now Clara grinned. “The boy who was willing to sacrifice everything for his princess, only to learn at the end of it that his primary purpose was to bring the simple human child.”

The Doctor frowned at that. “You think I’m a plot device?”

She shook her head. “No. But it’s what you do. You introduce us to this amazing world that is also terrifying. You bring us along, make us believe, and if we’re very lucky, sometimes we get to save you.”

“Is that why you climbed into a Dalek? To save me?”

Clara bit her lip and then reached out her hand to take the Doctor’s hand. “Doctor, you had assumed you were going to die there. And there is nothing in this universe I wouldn’t do to stop that happening.”

The Doctor gave a gentle squeeze to her hand. “I know. That’s what scares me."

She just stared at him, silently asking him to explain.

He released her hand, but turned in his seat to face her properly. He had never explained his people to her properly. And even though she had been all over his timeline that did not mean she was able to comprehend what that was all about. “Time Lords were the oldest and mightiest race in the Universe. Because of our abilities relating to Space and Time, we became guardians of Time itself. We were sworn to never interfere, though if someone were to try to change or disrupt Time, we would take action. That was basically how the Time War happened.”

Clara, shocked that the Doctor was sharing something so close to him, remained silent. Allowing him to say what was on his mind.

“And now they’re gone. Even if I saved them, they’re no longer here. I am the only Time Lord left. And after so many centuries, defending Time and Space is almost a part of my DNA. I have a responsibility to this universe. But that doesn’t mean you have to carry any of this burden.”

His features somehow softened. Not that he was at peace, but there was a calmness that had not been present earlier.

“Doctor, I want to. I stepped into your Time Stream. I know more about you than anyone else. And what about that time with the Boneless? You said I was a ‘good Doctor.’”

He took up her hands in his in order to silence her. “I said you were an exceptional Doctor. I also said that goodness had nothing to do with it.”

Clara frowned at that. “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t.” He took a breath. “A good man wouldn’t sentence his home planet to death - twice. A good man wouldn’t save his home planet at the sacrifice of the rest of the universe.”

Now Clara really was confused. “What do you mean? You said they were in an alternate universe. This universe is fine, how did you sacrifice it?”

The Doctor just stared at her. “How were the Daleks able to bring Skaro back?” He sighed. “It’s because it never burned in the first place. Because I went back and didn’t end the Time War by using _The Moment_ , planets didn’t burn, no time lock on the War was created. Everything is different now. Don’t you see? That’s how I see things. That burden is mine alone as the Last Time Lord.”

“Then, all the more reason why you need someone to defend you.”

Clara’s tone was so certain. So sure. And it broke the Doctor’s hearts just a little. Because she did not understand what he was saying. That was fine, for now. He was positive they would talk about this again and maybe he could explain it better. “Fine. But no more doing anything unnecessary. You have a life and I want you around to live it.”

He released her hand and stood. “This was good. But I think I need a lie-down. You could probably use some rest too. Regeneration energy is a tricky thing.”

She nodded. “I will.”

He gave her a look. She rolled her eyes. “I promise.”

He nodded once and made to leave the room. When he got to the doors he spoke softly. “Thank you, Clara Oswald. Good night.”


End file.
